Welcome to Scattered Thoughts, the home of the creative — and sometimes serious writings of Jay!

On this site, you’ll find all sorts of little dribbles and dabbles and fiction and fanfiction! Heck, there’s some poetry on here too! 🙂 Everything is at a varying length and the subject matter differs greatly from work to work so you are encouraged to check out the Indexes of both authors to get a full feeling of what we both have to offer!

From Poetry to Final Fantasy and Original Fiction alike, we’ve got a little bit of everything to whet your whistle! Get comfy in your chair and stick around for a while. We’ll be more than happy to have you around.


Many works on this site are works of fanfiction that were not written for personal gain. They were written to show the love for the series and as such were written for entertainment purposes only. Any properties used that are not owned by the authors of the site were used without permission and as such are the intellectual property of their respective owners. In the event that the owners of said content would like the aforementioned content removed from this blog, feel free to contact the authors and we will be more than happy to comply with this request.

[fanfic] Selphie, Please

There’s a young girl perusing the contents of a junkyard, looking for scraps of anything viable for a weapon upgrade. She’s small but, she sticks out like a sore thumb. Literally, she’s a tiny speck of a person in a yellow jumper that would be a shirt on anyone of average height and brown hair curled up in a way that could only defy gravity. Really, nobody knew how she got it to curl up like that day-in-and-out but there she was, bounding around the junkyard with relentless energy. She’s been told to be careful and not trip as a boot goes flying through the air.

“Squaaaaaaaall,” the girl calls to a silent young man with his arms crossed over his chest. “Can you bring my boot?”

“Selphie, please,” Squall sighed as he picked up the brown boot and brought it back to the brunette whose green eyes were sparkling with mischief. “We’re here –”

“–For work. I know,” Selphie interrupted with a playful grin when her eyes settled on something that was not for customizing weapons.

The object was covered in rust and was easily half of the height of the perky brunette who pulled her boot back on and went barrelling toward the object with reckless abandon. As she skids to a halt near the object, she hauled it out of the debris with little issue and cheers delightfully as she hauls the object onto her shoulder and settles her hands on the forward grip and trigger. The playful grin on her face was now transforming into an impish grin as she looks over at Squall.

“Look,” she calls over to her friend as he rolled his eyes. “Can I keep it?”

Squall glowers at the perky brunette before he marched over to her with the intent of taking the weapon from her.

“I promise that I’ll take good care of it and only use it when dealing with Seifer,” she continues in a playful tone laced with more than a fair bit of dark humour.

Squall kept a brisk pace before standing in front of Selphie and looking down at her with a stormy glare. He holds a leather-clad hand out in front of him as the perky brunette shook her head.

“I’m not giving it up,” she protested as Squall placed his free hand on the front of the object. “I never get to play with bazookas.”

“For good reason,” he murmured thoughtfully. “Selphie, give me the bazooka.”

“Why?” She asked in a cute tone. She wasn’t intending to give it up without a fight.

“Because you’re not trained for using ballistic weapons,” Squall responded practically.

Selphie made a noise imitating a buzzer and smiled sweetly at her leader. “I completed that course back at Trabia.”

Squall shook his head in exasperation. Of course, she completed a course on using ballistic weapons. “You’re too small to use one that big.”

“Then…” she began to bargain. “If I give you this one, you’ll let me find one that’s more suited to my size?”

The two continue the back-and-forth of silly banter before the leader decides that he’s had enough of her games for one day. The childish banter had gone long enough even though it only lasts a few minutes.

“Selphie, please,” Squall said with a tone of finality. “Give me the bazooka.”

Selphie’s lower lip juts out into a pout as she reluctantly surrendered the weapon.


[fanfic] Sunshine – Four

Four – Chronicles of the Sentient Tree

Once upon a time, I lost all of my memories! All of them. I didn’t even remember my own name. Can you imagine having a dream about a random event in your life having the only clues to your past? Can you imagine having to pick a new name for yourself? Can you imagine having to break out of an egg filled with a weird goo? Oh yeah, can you also imagine waking up in a new place as a grown person completely and utterly naked in front of a stranger that you’re meeting for the first time? No? Well, it happened. It totally happened.

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[fanfic] Sunshine – Three

Three – Phoenix Ikki and Smoker

Before I ever met Yuri and Flynn and everyone else in Crystallis, there was a village inside a barrier known as Luceti. I was trapped inside a barrier in this place for three years of my reversed life. Everyone who lived there were brought in to be experimented on by an organization known as the Malnosso. We were given wings and barcodes on the backs of our necks.

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[fanfic] Sunshine – Two

Two – Yuri and Flynn to an Extent

I highly doubt that you’ll ever find two people more drastically different than Yuri and Flynn. I met them both during my time in Crystallis. We woke up one day in a research facility where we were destined to be a crackpot by the name of Kalki’s guinea pigs. Let’s just say that a lot of us weren’t going to have that. I woke up in the research facility with Zell by my side, with white crystals in our possession and moogle partners to help us during our journey.

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[fanfic] Sunshine – One

One – The End is in the Beginning

I made a promise to some dear friends in a place called Aqures Ixen. I promised to never forget them and that I would write about them. Well, while I’m not equipped with a Guardian Force and of a non foggy mind, I’m going to do exactly that! But I guess I have to start at the end of one major life event and rewind back to the end of another. It’s… gonna be a bit a weird.

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[fanfic] Sunshine – Introduction

Man, it’s weird writing an introduction. You’re expected to introduce something, give a thesis, state the points that you want to make but… this isn’t that kind of introduction. This is an introduction about a fictional character that I love dearly and have played out her story many times over countless years. There’s headcanon, character development and a muse that has never really left my mind.

Selphie Tilmitt from Final Fantasy VIII. She’s this energetic ray of sunshine that tries to see the best in everyone around her. She isn’t without her darkside and her early years were full of tragedy but she always manages to come out on top. Maybe it’s just Lady Luck being on her side despite being portrayed by a person who most certainly has more than a few screws loose in her own brain. She stumbles, gets lost some times and has issues of her own but she’s always been fun to play.

But… there comes a time in life when it’s time to bid a beloved character goodbye; this is that time for me. It’s time to give Selphie one last hurrah, one last booyaka, one more chance to blow it up to smithereens with a rocket launcher. From the eyes of Selphie, these are the stories of the people who affected her the most during my million years of playing her in various games on Livejournal and Dreamwidth in their roleplay community. From Edensphere to Luceti and finally at Melodies of Life, these are the thoughts and anecdotes of a girl with a huge heart, who has lost a lot but gained so much more in the process.

This is the story of her life throughout the multiverse.

Welcome to Sunshine

[poem] Suffer in Silence

True colours are shown.

A trust has been shaken,
Respect has been lost.
A heart that was open,
Now closes and locks.

A mind that is cloudy,
And wants to be clear.
The sun wants to break,
Through that misty mire.

A soul that is beaten,
Battered and bruised,
Has no chance to heal,
And no choice but to deal.

It suffers in silence,
Though it would rather not.
It wants to let people in,
But is too scared to try.

Where others are supported,
this one is reviled.
Labelled and misunderstood,
It suffers in silence.

So it writes down its pain,
But it does not salve the wound.
It only makes it dwell in agony
As it suffers in silence.

It just wants to be happy…

It just wants to be free.

[fanfic] First Sensations

There was a first time for everything.

A first step with eyes unclouded by a slave crown. The sensation of feeling cold. The sensation of her world growing a fraction larger. They weren’t unpleasant sensations but firsts all the same. To a young woman who had spent years under the control of people who thought she was nothing more than a tool, seeing her breath mist white in the wintry air left Terra enthralled with wonder.

Her companions watched her look at the flakes of snow falling gently, eyes alight with the pleasure of a simple beauty with kind looks on their faces. It belied the image of a warrior as they walked with purpose through the snowfields towards their next destination. The layers of grime on their bodies had layers of grime. Edgar and Bannon were discussing strategy for the upcoming negotiations. Snow was blowing in every direction, weaving an intricate dance pattern in the frigid air.

It left Locke to keep an eye on the girl. She had marched hesitantly through the snowfields of Narshe in the beginning before the snow had caught her eye and left her awestruck. Their cloaks whipped around their feet as a warm smile broached Terra’s face. Her hand didn’t stray far from the sword belted at her hip in case of any danger but still, there was an innocence in her reaction that left the treasure hunter and the others soon afterwards thinking wistfully of simpler times.

The snow may have gone on for countless miles with no end in sight, but the innocent joy from one who’d forgotten what those feelings were like was enough to melt the heart of even the mightiest of foes.